"....was that Scarlet Letter, so fantastically embroidered and illuminated upon her bosom. It had the effect of a spell, taking her out of the ordinary relations with humanity, and enclosing her in a sphere by herself."
My scarlet letter: M
Married.
something about marriage impacts your social life....
the way spreading chicken pox to your whole 3rd grade class would impact your social life. [forever having
koodies]
or wearing a sweater from the Children's Place in 8
th grade will impact your social life. [having your cool friends not sit with you...]
i cemented my best friend in for eternity.
but...
there was something else.
i couldn't quite put my finger on it.
but i certainly felt it our first year of
mariage - and even still ...
[did you feel that way?]
maybe it was not having a gaggle of girl
roomates to critique an outfit or grab dinner with. maybe it was that no one just popped in to watch
tv shows or say hi at the same frequency.
i once dated a boy in college. an artistic, passionate intense boy. he rode a bike and cried often. he accused me once of having many friends [too many in his opinion] and none who knew me well. in retrospect, there have been an ounce of veracity in this accusation.
and lately
i've thought about his metaphor - the spreading of many seeds in a garden that grew no flowers. while the careful gardner paid attention to each carefully planted seed and was elated by the growth of each flower.
[he was also a lofty thinker of metaphors and parables]
my social circle - despite what
facebook says- has dwindled to a few. a wonderful few. and it seems these days, or at least tonight,
i'm happy(er?) with that.
tonight i sat in the living room and chatted for hours over
este's pizza with
a few friends.
and was socially content.
the other evening we pot-lucked with
a handful of married friends. the girls packed into my bedroom like hens in a coop. and i was socially content.
i email/
bbm/
gchat a friend endlessly each day. and she likes it. or endures it. and
i'm socially content.
on my 23rd birthday
kimmy threw a wonderful party in park city. in the after-glow of hostessing we made a list of the 100 or so people who attended. we were pleased with ourselves. a success.
i could count on one hand the number of party-goers i said more than 10 words to.
and so this year, on the 26
th anniversary of my birth, there won't be a 16 dish appetizer course. there won't be 100 cougars clad in "semi-semi formal" attire. there won't be invitations. or a destination.
but i have a feeling, that if even just a few people are around,
i'll be content. with my scarlet M, or L as the case may be.
it took a big breath to blow out the aromatic 26th birthday candle.
it took a big breath to blow out the aromatic 26th birthday candle.
